Freaks & Geeks

The 11th Annual fantasy football draft was yesterday in scenic Lake Montezuma, AZ - at the local golf course. Some of the dudes in our league hit the sticks before the draft, and I have to say that it's probably one of the only golf courses in AZ where you see more mullets than polo-shirt wearin' cropped cut fat guys. I skipped the golf, as I usually do and rolled in for the draft at 1:30. It's always a good time - catching up with guys I only see once a year. This whole debacle started back in 1996 and I like it because its pretty much stayed the same since. We drink beer, talk smack, and overall, take it about as serious as we should. Meaning its fun to talk about on Sundays and every now and then we get into a good trashtalk session online about it.

I woke up this mornin' around 5:45 and was on the singlespeed by 6:05. Just so you know, the sun rises now about 6:10am. We really are losing light - and it was on the edge of cold - around 51 degrees. I climbed for 5 miles up Mount Elden's 2000' gain in my 32 x 18. Plenty of work for a Monday morning. Flip it - and down "endo trail" back home. No endo's today - thankfully.

Now - off to the pool with Squirty. September is here, and I can feel the days getting shorter and the temps falling. It'll be 68 for a high on Thursday with lows in the 40's. Damn.....summer went fast.

BROWN TROUT

So after dinner last night it was raining, but the dogs had not been out. D, Squirty and me hit the pavement for a long loop around the 'hood. About as 'hood' as it gets in Flagstaff is our quirky neighborhood of dumpy rentals, nice single family homes, condos, apartments with 90% of the population being white folk or Latinos. Not exactly a hood, but its our hood. So anyway, off we go, and about 1/4 of the way through, Lyza pulls the "I have to pee" card. We hit the woods, she takes care of business, and we're on our way. It has to be her favorite place to go to the bathroom. I think she'll be a good camper since I have yet to hear her say "ohhhh - gross, I want a toilet". So we amble on, and deep inside my lower abdomen grumbles - a lot. That transmits to my brain quickly....I'm 1/2 mile from home and if I don't find a bathroom ASAP its gonna be bad. I toss the dog leash to Lyza who stays with D - they are laughing as I take off down the road for home.

The problem is - that I can't run. I get hives on my legs if I have not been regularly running. It itches worse than you can imagine, and I have to stop and walk. So I'm racewalking the 1/2 mile home trying to tell the ol' sphincter that I'm not even close and to hold the dam - HOLD THE LINE BOYS - HOLD THE LINE!!! Says commander Shitski. Well the garage appears, I open it and sprint the final 50 feet to porcelain heaven. Let's just say it was as if I dumped a bucket of mopwater into the toilet. And then - it was over. WHEW. Cleaned the toilet, had a nice relaxing night after dropping 4 pounds of water weight, and slept like a baby.

I remember not making it once when I was in 4th grade. That has stuck with me as vividly as any of the other life changing events I have had in 39 years.

Have a nice weekend

OK - I thought the astronaut love triangle that included diapers, surgial tubing, and garbage bags was the story of the year....well, it still is. This guy though, is right up there. I have to say there is nothing funnier than a self-proclaimed Right Winger who has voted down nearly every gay-rights initiative is now feeling the pressure to tell us "I'm not gay". Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I just want to say though, that this opened a whole new perspective for me, as I never knew the 'call signs', or the 'little signals' that you should use in mens restrooms to get your very own prison pounding. Did you see the cop who busted him? Talk about your sweet little Peter Pan looking face. You have to believe he was straight out of the Academy when Lieutenant Hard Ass looks at him and says "Johnson - you're on gay watch at the Minneapolis Airport restrooms. I need you to really dive into this, get to know these a**clowns, and take 'em down". So this poor cop gets to smell a ton of kids dropped off at the pool all day, while making himself look "available" so he can capture pervs? He should get a fat salary for that job.

Back to our esteemed public servant from Idaho. Hey - it happens in both parties - but there's nothing I like seeing more than a crusty conservative going down by committing acts that he steadfastly condemned. Isn't it ironic Alanis Morissette that he essentially voted down initiatives for his gay-self?

Got the Scalpel out on a 1.5 hour ride last night. We're losing daylight fast unfortunately. The bike feels like an extension of me right now, tuned and dialed in. Unfortunately I have to abandon it for 3 weeks to get ready for a road race on 9/23. The new frame is likely sold to a friend on my racing team. Bye bye Epic - it was nice having you on the stand in my garage.

A Chill Tuesday

A huge thanks to E-Force...for mailing me a brand new Lethal 175 after I mailed it in to them in sadder shape than this....That's Lance Brigg's Lamborghini BTW. E-Force has always been great about replacing broken rackets, but for them to send me a free one when the left side of the frame was crushed, well that's just great customer service. Racquetball starts again in 2 weeks and I'm now ready to play again.

I went to a very complex immigration seminar today. Arizona has to be the most ridiculous state with regards to the legislation that was passed this year. Basically, if you are tan and you work in the service industry, ag, construction, mining etc....then pack your bags. You'll be profiled as illegal - and for crissakes....employers are ON THE HOOK to lose their business license after a second violation. I hope the Feds pass some more reasonable sh*t soon. Otherwise, our guest workers in this state will move to New Mexico and California and I'll be paying some methe addict $27/hour to clean toilets. Sh*t (pardon the pun), maybe I'll take that job.

Road ride tomorrow morning @ 5:30am up Snowbowl and then in to work....I got the following on the Fall agenda. #1 will be a bitch. 20 miles, 5500 feet of vertical.
#1
#2

I couldn't have scripted it any better

OK - so up at 6:30am - breakfast/coffee, one last gear check and I am off to the race. The course was 20 miles, about 1,500 feet of vertical gain - in other words, not a brutal course. UP 3.5 miles of forest road to start, UP a very technical singletrack for 2.5 more miles, across another forest road for .5 miles, and the screamin' downhill for 3.5 miles on a trail that would make even the grumpiest rider LOVE this sport. Tight, twisty, jumps, banked turns.

I'm sitting in 2nd row and I planted myself behind a guy with a mullet who talked a big game, so I figured I could use him as a lead out. Race Director says GO!! - and I take the Josh Bartoszuk approach and flat out gun it. I'm in second through the first mile following Mulletguy and working hard, but not quite maxed out. Well - look to my right, and a teammate of mine, Guillermo (who won this event last year), goes rocketing past with two dudes who were just damn fast and working together taking pulls on the forest roads. I couldn't hold their pace - or that of a couple other guys, and slipped back to more of a comfort zone for my heart. We hit the singletrack, and I was in 7th. I picked and poked my way through the technical rock gardens and started reeling guys in as they fell on rocks, and overshot technical turns. At this point the course was wide open and we had little trouble making our way around the bottom third of the expert class and some of the slower singlespeeders who were being punished by the tight/rocky course. By the time we hit the downhill, I was in 5th, and I pushed the throttle open and blasted past the guys who dropped me on the road and into second place after lap #1 - about 1 minute down on Guillermo. I could see him, but barring him breaking down, I was racing for 2nd at that point. I may have looked strong coming through lap 1, but I was hurtin', but I went as fast as I could on the forest road, knowing the guys who blew my doors off on the forest road would be back. I didn't ease off, but I did make sure to load up on electrolytes knowing that I wouldn't drink another drop once I hit the singletrack. Sure as shit - as I am drinking down some Accelerade, the three guys I passed on the downhill come around me like they were shot from cannons. I cannot follow - no chance. Then another teammate passes me - and I'm now 6th heading into the singletrack, but I wasn't panicked.....I even got passed again - dropping into 7th.....Then I panicked and went as hard as I could. Once again, most of these guys were faster on the roads than the singletrack, and by the time we approached the downhill, I was in 4th - comfortably so - to the point where I could have sat up and coasted in 4th place. I was feeling chilled on an 80 degree day - meaning I was overheating., but I was only a couple miles out riding downhill - So I hit the gas again knowing that 4th doesn't get me on the podium, and when I did I felt a distinct cramp in my quadriceps. F*CK THAT SH*T - the finish/water cooler is less than 2.5 miles away.....so I kept gunning it full throttle. I passed 2 expert women, a bunch of beginners who were clogging the course, and finally came upon the 2nd place guy with 1/2 mile left and he didn't have a clue I was right on his ass.

I called out "On your right" and he gave me barely an inch to pass - not realizing it was me. I could almost hear his tires deflate a couple of psi as he realized he gave me the right of way to the finish line on a tight singletrack. I was fortunate to have a couple of tight turns left, and some loose sweeping turns because I lost him within 100 yards - looking over my shoulder at the top of a short climb to confirm that I had at least 5 seconds on him. Well - into the last turn 50 feet before the line. I looked back - he was now gone, and I rolled across the line in slow motion at 3mph tops.... relishing the first second place I have ever nabbed - and the cheers of support from a few teammates at the line. Only in hindsight did I realize I was completely wiped out. Dehydrated, cramped up - just spent.

Home/Shower/Endurox cocktail for recovery/Pick up Lyza/Kids race

She was pumped for her race, and she threw it down. The cool part was that we were able to get 5 friends in her 1st grade class to come out and race with her. She worked hard, rode carefully, but hard when she felt confident, and beat 4 classmates (all boys) and one neighborhood girl. She felt pretty good about it, and she was a great sport about it as well.

Huge grocery list/shop/ice/coolers for post party, but first awards ceremony

OK - so we go to the awards ceremony because we had a great team results....5 podiums including 3 first place finishes. I get my little trophy and some cash to spend at the local shop....cool. Then they do a raffle. Helmets, Camelbaks, etc. The last raffle item is a Carbon Specialized S-Works Epic frame, size L. The race director called out "And the winner is...C. Bosselmann" I won. It retails for $3,300. HOLY SHIT. I wouldn't even know what to do with this frame. I mean c'mon - a fully built up version of this bike is more than $6,500. That's like giving me a Ferrari to commute to work in.

So I go to our team party - and the host/teammate offers me a 29'er Soulcraft converted to a 1x9 with XTR/American Classic hubs-wheels + cash for the frame. The Soulcraft weighs probably 23 pounds at best. The only bike I don't have in my arsenal is a high end hardtail for race days. I'm gonna test ride it this week......because as Soulcraft frames say on the chainstays "built for speed".

Pictures to follow....

Just plain weird...

I've never done a race that is less than 10 miles from my front door. In fact, it's 5 miles from my front door.

I had a nice meal last night, slept in my own bed, woke up at a reasonable time, had a nice breakfast, and I'm thinking to myself, WTF? I'll hop on my bike in 45 minutes and ride over to the race course. This is so far removed from the typical:

Arrive to the race venue late on Friday night, go to sleep in a cold tent, wake up cold, eat some oatmeal concoction, pre-race warm up, and GO. There is something cool about camping though, and hanging out after the race.

After this one - I'll just ride home, take a shower, and head on over to our team party. This qualifies as a great late summer day - unless I get my ass kicked this morning.

Club Champ

I got it. Took out Timid Tim in the first round, survived Lefty Mike in the second round, and took down a very tired Young Mike the College Kid in the finals. Hey - at least I got a long sleeve T-shirt out of it. I think College Mike would have taken me, or we would of at least had a tough battle if he had not been so tired. That was the luck of my draw - I got the the finals well rested.

Bike race @ 9:15am tomorrow. Gooooooooooooo!