The Second Half

Kind of a Fu*ked Up Week

So squirty is out of school, and summer camp doesn't start for 2 weeks. That means swimming lessons at 10:30am, dragging her down to work for a few hours a day, putting her to bed around 9, and back on the computer at the "home office" for a few hours. You know what that means....when I get bored, its www.velonews.com, www.cnn.com, www.sevencycles.com, and www.drunkcyclist.com. Good times! Of course, I have to throw some sh*t on my friend's blogs too.

I got an e-mail today from a blast from the past friend named Marcus Erectus (that was what we called him 'cause it rhymed). Dude lives in Madison, WI. I met him at NAU when we were in college in the late 80's. He's smart, has a hottie ultra-loyal yoga instructor trophy wife, 3 perfect kids, a red Dodge Caravan for road trips, and he runs a high profile think tank organization that specializes in auditing, and consulting for credit unions. The kid was a total f*ck off golden boy in College, and you just knew he would do "well" by the typical standards of success. I didn't know how to take his e-mail because he was hitting me up for a room quote - almost like a request for proposal - and gloating over the fact that his 8-year old was just at a week-long Chinese immersion "camp" at a private University in Minneapolis.

I read that, and just said "What the f*ck"? Chinese immersion camp? Is that like some cooking school? Ahhhh, I knew exactly what it was/is and it even further distanced me from these successful peers I have been referring to. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't even think for a second to place Lyza B in an immersion camp at age 8. Maybe a summer camp where she can make cool stuff, play outside, and play a ton of games. I'm probably reading too much into it - I'm sure the Chinese camp is loaded with food/language games/physical games etc.....it just seems so....snotty. Oh and at the end he threw in this line "Oh, and I'm running my first marathon in October". OK Mr. everything....is there anything you haven't mastered? I just want to hire him and get some photos of his perfect wife banging him. That'll take him down a notch.

Time for bed. THIS is ready for pickup tomorrow. It'll be like Christmas is June - and YES Josh, Ellen, Jeff, Big Steve, and A to the E - I'm gonna ride the 100K at Purgatory. You know why? Because I will never hear the end of it from you f*ckers if I take the easy route and ride the 50K. Here's to hell on wheels, a sore back, and a few saddle sores - -Mom, I want some butt butter for Christmas, OK?