72 hours from now the Minnesota Vikings will be on their home field playing the Philadelphia Eagles in round one of the NFL playoffs. The Eagles are favored. Being a Viking fan since I was old enough to understand football has given me enough calluses to endure a 17-16 last-second win, a 55-0 loss, or anything in between.
The Vikes resemble a football sized Chimichanga in every way. Each season I order one up with colossal enthusiasm.........and while it tastes great at first, in the end it always leaves me with a feeling like I just swallowed a whole lotta crap. Then, my gut aches for a few hours afterwards. I know it’s not good for me, but I keep coming back every year for that Chimichanga with a six pack of Hope, delusions of Destiny, and a wheelbarrow full of Faith. What the…? Why the….do I do this!? The truth is, you might see Hope, Destiny and Faith at a St. Paul strip club, but you won’t see or feel them very often watching the Vikes play. You have a much better chance of meeting the triplets; Anguish, Angst, and Anger.
My good friend James Scott Kersten and I were discussing how we sometimes feel that as soon as we start watching the Vikes play, they fumble, throw an interception, get a stupid penalty, or miss a field goal. Then, instinctively, you have to walk away from the TV and maybe check back after 15 minutes to see if they turned things around. It really is better not to watch. My “colorful” (read: obnoxious and controlling) Mom then pointed out something to the tune of “You guys really think that their performance has anything to do with YOU?” “Like YOU guys make a difference?” “Get over yourselves.” Thanks Mom. You're right. I needed that slap on the head.
I can’t even explain my affinity for them other than tradition - I grew up watching and waiting for them to win a Super Bowl and I can't break this apparent life-long connection. I feel like a shameless, hopeless, pathetic, horror-enduring, misguided, “wait ‘till next season”, Cubs fan. OK, it isn’t THAT bad. Cubs fans.....I'm surprised they all didn't slit their wrists last October - then again, they are used to it.
Man, I hope the Vikes win on Sunday.
H-h-h-hold up now, you best get off my back about Cubs fans. You are equally as twisted! Don't try'a justify! ("at least I'm not as bad as a Cubs fan!")
ReplyDeleteYour story from beginning to end was EXACTLY what it's like being a Cubs fan, a Chicago fan in general, down to the "if I don't watch, their play will improve" superstitious behavior---so you my friend, are in the same boat. Zactly! True dat! That said, I loved this entry. Heeeelarious.
Boy, it's a good thing Packer fans aren't like this.
ReplyDeleteDude - Packer fans are WORSE! Any fan base that puts up with Favre for 15+ years in INSANE!
ReplyDeleteHalf the fans supported him and didn't want to see him go. The rest of us would have been more than willing to send him to the Jets much, much sooner.
ReplyDeleteSo, have the Vikes sold out the Metradish yet or are we talking black-out?
Can't wait until next August....again.
ReplyDelete