Thursday, August 30, 2007

OK - I thought the astronaut love triangle that included diapers, surgial tubing, and garbage bags was the story of the year....well, it still is. This guy though, is right up there. I have to say there is nothing funnier than a self-proclaimed Right Winger who has voted down nearly every gay-rights initiative is now feeling the pressure to tell us "I'm not gay". Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

I just want to say though, that this opened a whole new perspective for me, as I never knew the 'call signs', or the 'little signals' that you should use in mens restrooms to get your very own prison pounding. Did you see the cop who busted him? Talk about your sweet little Peter Pan looking face. You have to believe he was straight out of the Academy when Lieutenant Hard Ass looks at him and says "Johnson - you're on gay watch at the Minneapolis Airport restrooms. I need you to really dive into this, get to know these a**clowns, and take 'em down". So this poor cop gets to smell a ton of kids dropped off at the pool all day, while making himself look "available" so he can capture pervs? He should get a fat salary for that job.

Back to our esteemed public servant from Idaho. Hey - it happens in both parties - but there's nothing I like seeing more than a crusty conservative going down by committing acts that he steadfastly condemned. Isn't it ironic Alanis Morissette that he essentially voted down initiatives for his gay-self?

Got the Scalpel out on a 1.5 hour ride last night. We're losing daylight fast unfortunately. The bike feels like an extension of me right now, tuned and dialed in. Unfortunately I have to abandon it for 3 weeks to get ready for a road race on 9/23. The new frame is likely sold to a friend on my racing team. Bye bye Epic - it was nice having you on the stand in my garage.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A Chill Tuesday

A huge thanks to E-Force...for mailing me a brand new Lethal 175 after I mailed it in to them in sadder shape than this....That's Lance Brigg's Lamborghini BTW. E-Force has always been great about replacing broken rackets, but for them to send me a free one when the left side of the frame was crushed, well that's just great customer service. Racquetball starts again in 2 weeks and I'm now ready to play again.

I went to a very complex immigration seminar today. Arizona has to be the most ridiculous state with regards to the legislation that was passed this year. Basically, if you are tan and you work in the service industry, ag, construction, mining etc....then pack your bags. You'll be profiled as illegal - and for crissakes....employers are ON THE HOOK to lose their business license after a second violation. I hope the Feds pass some more reasonable sh*t soon. Otherwise, our guest workers in this state will move to New Mexico and California and I'll be paying some methe addict $27/hour to clean toilets. Sh*t (pardon the pun), maybe I'll take that job.

Road ride tomorrow morning @ 5:30am up Snowbowl and then in to work....I got the following on the Fall agenda. #1 will be a bitch. 20 miles, 5500 feet of vertical.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I couldn't have scripted it any better

OK - so up at 6:30am - breakfast/coffee, one last gear check and I am off to the race. The course was 20 miles, about 1,500 feet of vertical gain - in other words, not a brutal course. UP 3.5 miles of forest road to start, UP a very technical singletrack for 2.5 more miles, across another forest road for .5 miles, and the screamin' downhill for 3.5 miles on a trail that would make even the grumpiest rider LOVE this sport. Tight, twisty, jumps, banked turns.

I'm sitting in 2nd row and I planted myself behind a guy with a mullet who talked a big game, so I figured I could use him as a lead out. Race Director says GO!! - and I take the Josh Bartoszuk approach and flat out gun it. I'm in second through the first mile following Mulletguy and working hard, but not quite maxed out. Well - look to my right, and a teammate of mine, Guillermo (who won this event last year), goes rocketing past with two dudes who were just damn fast and working together taking pulls on the forest roads. I couldn't hold their pace - or that of a couple other guys, and slipped back to more of a comfort zone for my heart. We hit the singletrack, and I was in 7th. I picked and poked my way through the technical rock gardens and started reeling guys in as they fell on rocks, and overshot technical turns. At this point the course was wide open and we had little trouble making our way around the bottom third of the expert class and some of the slower singlespeeders who were being punished by the tight/rocky course. By the time we hit the downhill, I was in 5th, and I pushed the throttle open and blasted past the guys who dropped me on the road and into second place after lap #1 - about 1 minute down on Guillermo. I could see him, but barring him breaking down, I was racing for 2nd at that point. I may have looked strong coming through lap 1, but I was hurtin', but I went as fast as I could on the forest road, knowing the guys who blew my doors off on the forest road would be back. I didn't ease off, but I did make sure to load up on electrolytes knowing that I wouldn't drink another drop once I hit the singletrack. Sure as shit - as I am drinking down some Accelerade, the three guys I passed on the downhill come around me like they were shot from cannons. I cannot follow - no chance. Then another teammate passes me - and I'm now 6th heading into the singletrack, but I wasn't panicked.....I even got passed again - dropping into 7th.....Then I panicked and went as hard as I could. Once again, most of these guys were faster on the roads than the singletrack, and by the time we approached the downhill, I was in 4th - comfortably so - to the point where I could have sat up and coasted in 4th place. I was feeling chilled on an 80 degree day - meaning I was overheating., but I was only a couple miles out riding downhill - So I hit the gas again knowing that 4th doesn't get me on the podium, and when I did I felt a distinct cramp in my quadriceps. F*CK THAT SH*T - the finish/water cooler is less than 2.5 miles I kept gunning it full throttle. I passed 2 expert women, a bunch of beginners who were clogging the course, and finally came upon the 2nd place guy with 1/2 mile left and he didn't have a clue I was right on his ass.

I called out "On your right" and he gave me barely an inch to pass - not realizing it was me. I could almost hear his tires deflate a couple of psi as he realized he gave me the right of way to the finish line on a tight singletrack. I was fortunate to have a couple of tight turns left, and some loose sweeping turns because I lost him within 100 yards - looking over my shoulder at the top of a short climb to confirm that I had at least 5 seconds on him. Well - into the last turn 50 feet before the line. I looked back - he was now gone, and I rolled across the line in slow motion at 3mph tops.... relishing the first second place I have ever nabbed - and the cheers of support from a few teammates at the line. Only in hindsight did I realize I was completely wiped out. Dehydrated, cramped up - just spent.

Home/Shower/Endurox cocktail for recovery/Pick up Lyza/Kids race

She was pumped for her race, and she threw it down. The cool part was that we were able to get 5 friends in her 1st grade class to come out and race with her. She worked hard, rode carefully, but hard when she felt confident, and beat 4 classmates (all boys) and one neighborhood girl. She felt pretty good about it, and she was a great sport about it as well.

Huge grocery list/shop/ice/coolers for post party, but first awards ceremony

OK - so we go to the awards ceremony because we had a great team results....5 podiums including 3 first place finishes. I get my little trophy and some cash to spend at the local Then they do a raffle. Helmets, Camelbaks, etc. The last raffle item is a Carbon Specialized S-Works Epic frame, size L. The race director called out "And the winner is...C. Bosselmann" I won. It retails for $3,300. HOLY SHIT. I wouldn't even know what to do with this frame. I mean c'mon - a fully built up version of this bike is more than $6,500. That's like giving me a Ferrari to commute to work in.

So I go to our team party - and the host/teammate offers me a 29'er Soulcraft converted to a 1x9 with XTR/American Classic hubs-wheels + cash for the frame. The Soulcraft weighs probably 23 pounds at best. The only bike I don't have in my arsenal is a high end hardtail for race days. I'm gonna test ride it this week......because as Soulcraft frames say on the chainstays "built for speed".

Pictures to follow....

Just plain weird...

I've never done a race that is less than 10 miles from my front door. In fact, it's 5 miles from my front door.

I had a nice meal last night, slept in my own bed, woke up at a reasonable time, had a nice breakfast, and I'm thinking to myself, WTF? I'll hop on my bike in 45 minutes and ride over to the race course. This is so far removed from the typical:

Arrive to the race venue late on Friday night, go to sleep in a cold tent, wake up cold, eat some oatmeal concoction, pre-race warm up, and GO. There is something cool about camping though, and hanging out after the race.

After this one - I'll just ride home, take a shower, and head on over to our team party. This qualifies as a great late summer day - unless I get my ass kicked this morning.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Club Champ

I got it. Took out Timid Tim in the first round, survived Lefty Mike in the second round, and took down a very tired Young Mike the College Kid in the finals. Hey - at least I got a long sleeve T-shirt out of it. I think College Mike would have taken me, or we would of at least had a tough battle if he had not been so tired. That was the luck of my draw - I got the the finals well rested.

Bike race @ 9:15am tomorrow. Gooooooooooooo!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

PART ONE.....of the rock and roll weekend

starts racquetball tourney commences at 6pm. Jean Short Jimmy - see you in the finals. I hope I can get that picture that Josh has out of my mind.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Don't have Kids unless......

You're 100% sure that you and your spouse will make it. Lyza - 6 years old - was sobbing last night, asking me "why did you and Mom have to break apart". It's a little too early to tell her that her Mom was a cheating liar ho-bag - I'll save that until she can handle the truth. Instead, you focus on whatever positives there are (2 families, 2 Christmas Days, 2 Spiderman Toothbrushes, etc....). Even if you are 100% sure, things can change overnight. So my statement holds about as much weight as her. I've heard that she'll get past this point, and then HAMMER me for the truth around age 10. I better start thinking about my response now.....

On a much more positive note - this morning was beautiful. A crisp 55 degrees, sunny, and I snuck in a 1-hour ride that was a great tone-setter for the day. The stress comes out through my tires....and by the end of the ride, the Wednesday forecast was looking great in my mind.

Desntist Appoitment for Lyza
MTB ride with her at Campbell Mesa
Home for Dinner
Crash Out

Back to work - ugh.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Bride or Bridesmaid?

I'm not sure which is better, but I do know that no one remembers the bridesmaid unless she does kegstands and passes out on the curb. Even then - no one remembers her name - she's just "remember that chick......"

What I also know is that I have our Flagstaff Athletic Club racquetball league tournament this Thursday, and an MTB race on Saturday. I have a good shot at winning the racquetball tourney, and I have a reasonable shot at winning my age group in the MTB race. Pull a double? Maybe. Fall on my face and get crushed in both - hopefully not, but not totally out of the picture. ......not like I haven't done that before.

To say that I'm not thinking about these events this week would be a lie. The racquet is tuned, the bike is running great - and I REALLY want that MTB win some time in my life. I've never finished on a podium in my adult life. Racquetball comes easy to me for some reason, but winning MTB races has just been plain and simply unachievable. The only reason I think I can do this is because I know the course - it suits my strengths, and I know who I'm riding against. I dunno...I also completely doubt my chances on race day, and I tend to go too easy at the start in fear of blowing up. This time - I gotta hit the gas hard and just see what happens. Totally out of character for me, but I'm about 0-40 in the race win department - so its time to deploy a new strategy. All I want is to win my age group - but taking the class would be something sweet.

OK, Mr. selfish is done here. Back to work. I got mouths to feed.
photo courtesy of Ellen Jo.....who else?!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Plans always change...

My Sunday was looking good, until I had a semi-expected work commitment come through - unfortunately. I had a nice ride lined up, but, riding doesn't pay the bills.

We had a good weekend, plenty of time with Lyza - the two of us met up with D for dinner downtown last night, and before I knew it the day was done. D's new job is a trainwreck - which means it spills into other aspects of life. I feel for her - I've made a couple of bad job decisions in my life and they are often hard to recover from.

On the calendar:
8/25 - Absolute Bikes / Food Bank singletrack challenge
9:15 am ME
1:00 pm Lyza (kids race)

9/10 - Havasupai hiking trip with Dad/Uncle

10/6 - Epic Rides Tour of the White Mountains - 52 miles for me

The fall is shaping up nicely - now if we can just get D's job situation figured out.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Josh snapped a photo of Jean Short Jimmy

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My Mp3

Is stuck in a time warp. See - I can't add or subtract tracks since it was purchased in 2001, and all of the fuctions except for VOLUME are working. So - I whipped it out the other night and realized, again, what a complete dipsh*t I am when it comes to music.

Did I choose any tracks on it from bands that people deem "good". Well - if you like(d) The Strokes, Good Charlotte, maybe a little Jay Z - well then you are good to go. The problem is that I also have The Bullet Boyz, Y&T, Lil' Kim, Default, and freakin' Aerosmith on there too. There's even a Mariah Carey/NAS rap song on there from the late 90's.

I distinctly remember riding, as a kid, in my Mom's 1980 or 1981 Chevy Citation. She spat out this music on a station in Minneapolis coded KS95. It would be the equivalent of today's AOR (Adult oriented radio). In other words, vanilla.....bland, crappy bands like The Captain and Tennille, The Carpenters, Barry Manilow, and even John Travolta's solo career. DAMN - no wonder my musical taste is warped.

Now I go to Itunes, and Napster - look at the "new music" and basically say to myself - WHO ARE THESE BANDS, as I frantically search for my comfort music from bands like Van Halen, Journey, Aimee Mann, and my all-time home girl Erykah Badu. I'm already projecting a date of June 12, 2009 when Lyza is riding in my car and says "Dad - why do you listen to this Rolling Stones stuff - they suck". Then I'll go into detail about their 1998 Bridges of Babylon tour, how great they were in the 60's and 70's, and once I finish my diatribe I'll look over and she'll have her I-Pod tuned to the latest reincarnation of Justin Timberlake........Justin who?

Monday, August 13, 2007

Jean Shorts Jimmy

So going back to last Thursday, I played a racquetball match against a guy who I named "Jean shorts Jimmy". I still don't know his name. Apparently, he was league champ last winter. I describe him as 6' 3", probably about 205 to 210, and no sh*t - he was wearing mid-thigh length jean shorts and some Nascar t-shirt. I had just had a Corona, and I had no idea who he was, or if he was good or not. He was good.

The first game went so fast my head was spinning. He got off to a 9-0 lead, and the game ended 15-9. He would announce the score like Micheal Buffer - you know - the famous ringside announcer. "Twwwwwwwelllve - Eiiiiiiight" or "12 over 8", or "12ski to 8ski". Five to Five was "I can't drive 5 to 5". It was funny for 3 minutes, and then I wanted to take his head off. I waxed him in the second game - 15-9. We were off for a tiebreaker.

Well the whole damn league stopped and watched us play on the glass court. We have identical games, and it went the distance. He prevailed when I made an honest mistake and thought we were playing to 15 when in fact we play to 11 on the third game. I lost 11-9. He was whooped, I was tired, and I'm looking forward to playing Jean Shorts Jimmy again.

On a bad note, I was so f'n sore the rest of the weekend from that max effort, that I rode like a wuss. Good thing we only did 30 miles on Sunday or I would have croaked.

Happy Monday Jean Short Jimmy

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Remember when...

I threw down that stupid diatribe a couple of days back about selling the house, and working for charity? Well f*ck that. As my rich-ass friend Aidan once said sarcastically as he left a casino when we called him a pus*y for not doubling down on a 10 with a 6 showing "I got mouths to feed".

I also like my house. I like it so much I'd get a second job to stay there if I ever had to. It's 100 YARDS to one of the best singletrack networks in the state - hell - the southwest. It's 1 mile from Lyza's school, and its 1.5 miles to the front door of Dana's job. I'm a rambling liberal idiot sometimes....

So on that note, I love my new (used) Bimmer. It f'n flies, has a rockin' stereo, and it has a glossy silver plated license plate ring around a fat-ass BLING BMW logo in place of the front license plate. Watch me comin' in your rearview - that's right - motherf*cker.

I'm as confused as they come.....I can't wait to beat the shit out of a few dudes on the racquetball court tonight. 1:40 'till gametime, and then a couple of Corona's to wash down the day. YEAH baby.
Last Days of Summer Vacation

I took yesterday off (working Saturday to make up for it) and just hung out with Lyza. We went to watch the Arizona Cardinals practice in the AM, went for a bike ride on some easy singletrack with the dogs, hit the pool in the afternoon, brought her friend Jackson over for some dinner - and over.

She said: "Dad - I don't want you to get older like Grandma. Can you stay 39, and I'll stay 6....well maybe 10". I thought that was great. I'll always be 39 as far as I'm concerned.

School starts next week - and eventhough its not like we don't have fun everyday, its different on summer break. I hope I can remember this stuff since I already forget where the hell my wallet is every other week.

Racquetball tonight - I'm gonna take it easy so I can ride like a man posessed this weekend. Next race is the local single speed event on 8/25. Lyza is in the kids race. Good times!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Time may change me, but I can't change time

Sold the Jetta TDI today - 4 years after I bought it new. Loved it - I'll get another one if the Good Ol U S of A starts selling clean diesel fuel.....
Registering the ultra-used BWM 525I tomorrow. 250K on it - but it drives like a dream
Took the extra cash and paid down the Subaru.

I'm sick of cars being such a big part of my financial life. What a waste of money and finite resources.

I have an idea, and I'm really starting to think more about it. Sell the house, buy a modest condo/house and put enough down on it to have an ultra cheap-o house payment. Work 32 hours a week for money + one day for charity.

What the hell has happened to me? Let me just say that working to put money in other people's pockets is becoming more and more shallow everyday. It's becoming clearer each day as to what I should do to get off this train, but I have a ways to go before I can figure this out.

Time is ticking by, but in the big picture - slowly. Regardless, when and will I even have the stones to go against everything I believed in up until a few years ago? The great thing is that D would support me 100%. I need to think about this for a while.

Lyza is back to feeling great after her tooth infection- healthy and happy. She's one of the brightest stars in my sky. I pulled out her first tooth at the bank today - yup, just reached in and yanked it out after she mocked me to try and pull it. She laughed out of initial shock, and if I could have captured the astonishment on her face - I could have sold it as a great picture. Work sucked today, but I forgot about it in that very instant.
I am my Dog

Labs play until it isn't fun anymore. Our dog Jamocha, just sits down under a tree when its too hot or too far. That's kinda how I race bikes.

Saturday's start was moved to the base of Purgatory Resort, meaning another 200' of climbing at the gun. Only 65 riders showed up this year - and based on the vibe, I think this event is dying. Word has spread that it's either too muddy or too cold. Well - I enjoyed the start this time. I was feeling good, I passed my fair share of riders on the climb and didn't get passed, and hit the 2-track road in the first 3rd of the group. The 2-track felt great, and I rode with a couple of guys who were cool enough to chat while we pounded out 8 miles on the road. Then - as usual - it all went to hell.

The next singletrack section is just 2 miles long. But its uphill to 11,000 feet, and the trail WAS a stream. Water was everywhere, and although the mud wasn't sticky, it wrecked disc brakes, sealed bearing cartridges were sealed no more, and in general - everyone's drivetrains were trashed. I got to the checkpoint at mile 16, and as I was finishing eating and lubing my chain, my bud Jeff from Sedona rolled in. This was his first start, and he was lookin' good. I rolled out as he rolled in, and didn't see him again until the finish area.

I'd describe the rest of the ride in detail, but, that would be a waste. It was rocky, wet, muddy, and I had a singlespeeder using me as a pacemaker for 12 miles straight. Fortunately, you get to descend the ski slope that you climb at the begnning, and that is always awesome. I passed a couple of dudes who were tumbling down the mud/roots, and finished in 4 hours 39 minutes - 1 minute off my best time at the event. I believe I was the 20th person across the line after the first lap out of 65. I beat Jeff by 25 minutes, which I get to give him sh*t about now for the rest of the year. Considering the mud, and the fact that I'm 4 years older that when I posted my best time - I felt pretty damn good. I had no interest in going back up that slope for another lap. Bottom line...the FUN was over.

People who thrive at these events, love to suffer. They love to finish what they started regardless of how long it might take. I have a lot of admiration for them.

I like to suffer while I race, but after a certain point - its not a race anymore and its just a matter of battling your own psyche. My psyche said "Enjoy the rest of the day". My psyche is weak, and I like that. I know I could have finished a second lap in under 5.5 hours, but I also know that I would have been bitter doing it. Instead, I hit the hot springs down the road, napped for 2 hours, and had a great stir-fry dinner.

Next event - the locals only race for pride and no prizes around Fort Valley on 8/22. 26 miles, all fast - maybe 2 hours of riding max. I can't wait!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Squirty had a nerve infection under a tooth - poor thing looked like a squirrel with about 10 acorns in her left cheek. We got her hooked up with antibiotics, some food she could eat, and some rest - and I rolled into work at 5pm as a result.

Haven't packed sh*t for Durango

Bike needs some tuning

I haven't eaten or had enough to drink today

Good thing I'm not getting paid to ride - rather - this race will cost me about $8 per mile once I figure in lodging, gas, food, entry fee etc for D and I. That's kind of a sick way to look at the fact I'll be hurtin' after this one. I could think of some better ways to spend $512, but then again, some ancient philosopher once mumbled "great suffering brings to light all the sh*t you should be doing better and taking more responsibility for". I made that up, but maybe I'll get something out of this besides a medal for finishing in under 12 hours, saddle sores, and a broken down bike.

Goal = 10 hours
I would do cartwheels if I finish in 9:30.
I'll take a victory lap around the parking lot ass-naked if I (butt) crack 9 hours.

Race report on Monday....