I talked to the wife of a college buddy I hadn’t communicated with in 20 years the other day. She said proudly: “Darrell is running his first marathon this fall”. That’s great, I knew Darrell in college and I know he’ll do a great job finishing in 2,347th place somewhere between four and five hours at the “Rock n’ Roll Marathon” in Phoenix this winter. The truth is, any jag-off with some semblance of health and a commitment to punishing themselves slowly can finish a marathon. In an effort to slow the pending spike in Orthopedic artificial knee and hip product sales, thus lining the pockets of a former neighbor of mine I can’t FREAKIN’ stand - and since every 40+ year old I know seems to have targeted the Marathon as the holy f*ckin grail of middle age athletic achievement, I have a suggestion.
Try staying at a more comfortable distance of around a 10K, and work on being………competitive. Consider making a real effort to be relevant to the race results, rather than being just another Joe who walks away with a T-shirt and a sore knee. I guarantee that the physical benefits of training hard and purposefully for a reasonable distance run will far outweigh the physical benefits/injuries that result from training moderately for an over-attended death march, all for the price of a ridiculous entry fee, an event T-shirt, a cheesy medal, and a picture for your office of you with a half-ass smile crossing the finish line in 899th place within your age group. The top 100 racers have already showered, had lunch, and caught a plane back home.
Then throw in another variable, the close or distant friend who signs up for the “team in training” marathon/walking event and solicits you for a donation to a major charity. Ahhh shit. I mean, I want to donate, I really do, and I want to support your effort, well sorta’ anyway. These big events get exposure for their causes – I know. F*ck. I just got like three of these requests from friends via national charities that fight Leukemia, Lymphoma, and heart disease. I waste time thinking about this stuff instead of just donating $15, or hitting DELETE. Instead, I lament. I must be stopped.
I know, I know, you’ll hate on me because it’s much more PC to encourage people to take on big challenges….I get it, be positive and be supportive blah blah blah blah. For some people, finishing an endurance event can change their lives for the better. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
However, I just can’t help feeling that competing makes you stronger in many ways than just finishing, and you can put a stamp on that $25 check you got for 3rd place in Women’s 40-49 category and mail that sucker to the Leukemia Society for good measure – without $15 of that check going to an event promoter. That’s a win-win in my book.
Marathon... shmarathon. The holy grail of the 40yr old should be a 24hr duo. That is what this one guy I know did and he totally crushed it.
ReplyDeleteDude, you don't ever have to worry about this 40yo even remotely thinking about running a marathon. Or a 1/2 marathon. Or a 10k. Or a 5k. Or a 1k. Or running a Lemans style start.
ReplyDeleteSteven - that is freakin' hilarious! How about a run to the coffee shop?
ReplyDeletejeebers, who put the nickel in you? i've been there, mostly shelled off the back and DFL, but also with the leaders and on the podium. tell you what, in long stage races, some of the most entertaining competition is in the middle of the pack. when the front is stacked with pros and uber-athletes, it leaves the rest of us working class heros to battle it out in the rank and file. i for one like it.
ReplyDeleteis there glory finishing 899th place? fucking hell right there is. and, it comes with bragging rights too. because while they're out there doing a marathon in 5+ hours in shitty weather, i'm sitting on the couch sipping my umpteenth cup of espresso and reading about all the dudes running the marathon in the Times sports section.
like my older brother, the 42 year old chronic couch potato. finally lifts his ass of the sofa, puts down the cheetos and starts running. 2 years later he's dropped 25 pounds and is routinely running 10k's. i think it's cool.
so, don't be cruel, dude. whether you're smoking the competition or being smoked, the point is to be out there. for some, just crossing that line is the fucking dream.
praise be the word. ae
Ellsie - I'm fired up baby! The example of your brother is exactly my point.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I think there was a bit of sarcasm in cb'z post. I really dont he is that much of a d*ck to call out anyone trying to get off the couch and start running.
ReplyDeleteNext time I'll preface the post with "Sarcastic tone to follow". That'll help.
ReplyDeleteof course there was sarcasm. piles of it. and bosselschewitz knows me well enough to ensure there's no hard feelings.
ReplyDeletechris and his mates [not inclusive of me!] are strong as ox, and can hang with the lead group. the fact of the matter is they make up a small percentage of those that compete. yes, i wrote compete. because even the out of shape desk jockey is competing when he puts his front wheel or toe on that line. maybe he's only competing with himself. maybe he's competing against the other out-of-shape desk jockey lining up next to him. but competing he's doing, whether going for the podium for the $35 check or for a PR or simply to cross the line. and that's relevant...
there were 40k+ in last week's NY marathon. there were 90 podium places possible. the other 99%+ of the runners were relevant. they trained hard and their individual efforts were purposeful. just as darrell's marathon will be...
btw, cb, props on a good dig on el diablo. all my previous statements don't apply to him... ;-)
this, the word of the lord.
ae
Wow, your post got all the 40+ crowd up in arms. I think this is the most comments any post has ever gotten, so far. Too funny! Yo yo yo you best get up off my back, Vincent Vega!
ReplyDeleteI didn't see no hatin' nor discouragment in it-- prolly because we'd talked about this very topic recently, and I found your advice right on.
As a semi-avid runner/jogger, after many years of not running, I've trained year 'round for a 10K I've run every spring for the past 2 years, coming up on year 3. Now I should preface for all who don't know me, I am not fast- in fact, my running is more like the consistancy of molasses. I am not built for speed.
First time I ran that 10K I came in DFL--it was the first and longest race I'd run since my senior year in H.S.-- Came in last behind two 80 year olds. Damn. Last year, I trained harder, and shaved 10 minutes off my time and made my way up somewhere into the bottom 25%. Smoked those 80 year olds. A lil' progress.
This year pals asked me to run the half marathon with them in 2010, instead of the 10K, essentially doubling the race mileage and all the training leading up to it.
I was unsure about it--excited about the possible challenge of a new race---but unsure because I thought I would be completely discouraged to come in DFL again, maybe hurt my knees, bones, ankles, feet, and maybe just lose interest in running completely.
I like to run, for fun, for health improvement, weight loss -- and in doing so I compete mainly with myself-- more than anyone else. I asked CB what he thought I should do, and he said, "Maybe stick with the 10K and instead of running just that 1 race, run more 10Ks." By george, I think he is right!
Find something you like, that you can reasonably succeed at, and save youself some money on replacement parts down the line.
I readily admit CB is a freakin genius. Huge fan. Huge.
hey! i'm not part of the over 40 crowd - yet! ellen jo, sounds like you run for purely personal reasons. i like it. it has value, so don't let chris shit on your parade if you aren't "competitive".
ReplyDeletemy wife ran the Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon in SFO a couple weeks ago. she had a great time, finished in the to 10% and has a lifetime of memories [most notably the handsome, tuxedo clad dude at the finish handing out Tiffany necklaces!] she and her girlfriends plan to do a "destination" run each year. i figure it's really not about the run. i suggested a 5k in paris...
keep training. come up to flag-town for a little altitude work. chris can show off his new short running shorts.
superbueno, ae
I have 5yrs before I have to start running according to CB. I am going to enjoy it cause I hate running.
ReplyDeleteThis was no where near long enough. I will try harder next time if I want to keep up. Wait... is a short post like being mid pack on this comment page.
Go out and do that marathon. Because then you'll have a story - everyone needs a story. Do your fund-raiser in training event. But, make sure that you follow-through and complete your said event to the best of your ability. Don't back out a month into the training, after you've already raised money from your friends, family, employer, etc that was given because these people believed that you were going to go into battle for a cause and make yourself stronger while doing it. Because if you back out this early, you have known from the beginning that you weren't capable of such an undertaking and all you really wanted to do was brag that you ran/walked/biked/paddled/skated that said distance. In my eyes, you're better off becoming an advocate for that cause and just raising the money. Doing that will still get you up and moving and possibly even more motivated to become better. Yes, there's more of a story there.
ReplyDeleteEveryone that does something like this has a personal reason for doing it. Make sure your reasons are pure and not about the bragging.
If you complete your goal and it makes you better in the process, be it physically or mentally, that is indeed wonderful. The even more difficult task is maintaining your new-found, better level of self.
After many years of competing with both myself and others depending on my level of fitness and the activity, I've learned many things.
Close to the top of that list is the fact that I'll never be a real contender. But,as my friends and family know, that doesn't stop me from being there to push myself and support others that are doing it.
It is this that has keep me from being too sedentary and has more than likely warded off some serious health issues.
The best advice I've received while deliberating a fitness topic is, "Steven, you and only you, can decide where you want your fitness level to be and if you are willing to do the work required to maintain or exceed that goal."
There's a lot in that statement. But it is very sound and logical.
So, I've set out to do some things in the past that I've been ready to do. And some things that I wasn't ready to do resulting in something that became epic in both good and bad ways.
While these things have made me stronger, what has made me better is that I've chosen to have the mindset that accomplishing them is not the end. It is the beginning of more to come in the same genre of activity or something completely new.
Tomorrow, providing that the stars align correctly, I'll be attempting something that I've never done before. I do know one thing for certain, I will once again prove that I climb hills as well as a cow climbs a tree.
I may or may not come out stronger at the end of the day, but I will, after the dust settles choose to use the experience to make me better in some way.
I hope that all that choose to extend themselves into an unknown are able to do the same.
I've now rambled plenty long. I'm going to run to the coffee shop.