BROWN TROUT
So after dinner last night it was raining, but the dogs had not been out. D, Squirty and me hit the pavement for a long loop around the 'hood. About as 'hood' as it gets in Flagstaff is our quirky neighborhood of dumpy rentals, nice single family homes, condos, apartments with 90% of the population being white folk or Latinos. Not exactly a hood, but its our hood. So anyway, off we go, and about 1/4 of the way through, Lyza pulls the "I have to pee" card. We hit the woods, she takes care of business, and we're on our way. It has to be her favorite place to go to the bathroom. I think she'll be a good camper since I have yet to hear her say "ohhhh - gross, I want a toilet". So we amble on, and deep inside my lower abdomen grumbles - a lot. That transmits to my brain quickly....I'm 1/2 mile from home and if I don't find a bathroom ASAP its gonna be bad. I toss the dog leash to Lyza who stays with D - they are laughing as I take off down the road for home.
The problem is - that I can't run. I get hives on my legs if I have not been regularly running. It itches worse than you can imagine, and I have to stop and walk. So I'm racewalking the 1/2 mile home trying to tell the ol' sphincter that I'm not even close and to hold the dam - HOLD THE LINE BOYS - HOLD THE LINE!!! Says commander Shitski. Well the garage appears, I open it and sprint the final 50 feet to porcelain heaven. Let's just say it was as if I dumped a bucket of mopwater into the toilet. And then - it was over. WHEW. Cleaned the toilet, had a nice relaxing night after dropping 4 pounds of water weight, and slept like a baby.
I remember not making it once when I was in 4th grade. That has stuck with me as vividly as any of the other life changing events I have had in 39 years.
Have a nice weekend
Nice poop story, pallie! A good poop story always livens up the joint!
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