Al Whore

Al the energy WHORE. You would think that after all he has done to spearhead Global Warming awareness, he might have scaled things down a wee bit himself. Have you seen his electric bills for the Al WHORE mansion?

Let's just say that after seeing An Inconvenient Truth, I have decided to move on/investigate the following:
-Purchasing two water barrels to capture rain water from my gutters
-Looking into Solar energy panels for our house
-Riding more to work so that I could cut down on my use of finite fuel

This doesn't change my mind. I still believe that conservation is critical to our environment. I think that everyone should do what they can to conserve water, gas, electricity, food, and recycle as much as possible.

What it does change is my view on Mr. Gore. I'm sure he'll come out with some spin on this - as in maybe he's housing 40 Somali children. Maybe he's conducting experiments in his basement to further his cause. But....I doubt it. Averaging over $1000 per month for your electric bill screams RICH WHITE GUY to me.

ROOKIE MARK

It's called a "Rookie Mark". A perfectly formed greasy chainring mark that rookies get when they fall, or they struggle getting off the bike. Usually associated with being extremely tired after a ride when all you want it to GET OFF THE BIKE and you lose a little coordination. That's my friend Steve sporting that little mark - and the scuffed knee after wiping out in the cinders on the road. He was lookin' round at scenery and had a yard sale by accident.....gear everywhere.

I have to say though - I wish I had those big-ass legs. Look at the power in that V-10 engine!

MONDAY, CRAPPY MONDAY

Really? There was jury tampering in the Scooter Libby trial? I find these trials hilarious.

It was a great weekend. Just great. Saturday I got Squirty a playdate with her cousins in Cottonwood, then I flipped the car back to Sedona for a 3-hour ride with Jeff and Josh B from 'Sconnie. We did a fun, semi-tough ride through the Sedona backcountry. Nothing marked - just local trails. One section found its way through a community that I used to live in, Pine Valley. The whole forest burned last summer, and it was really a weird feeling to be riding a bike through what once was a high-desert forest with a lot of Juniper, Manzanita, and small pines. Now? It was scorched. We rode a tough gradual climb over infinite baby-head boulders that just beats the tar outta you after a while. Good times, and great training for the season.

Sunday was home chillin' with D and Jamocha - and Lyza after she went to a movie with a pal. Her social calendar is 2x mine at age 5. Frightening, really.

Since February is now pretty much over, I just saw the first race on my calendar is March 24th in the White Tanks west of Phoenix. A 50 mile marathon ride which should take about 4 hours + or - a few minutes. I don't think I'll hit the podium, but, who knows. Then two more in April, gearing up for the 24 solo.

I need to go rent The Departed. I'm in the mood for some screen-violence.

Uncle Steve's Countdown is 84 days.....84 days to freedom.

NOT MUCH GOIN' ON

What a weak week of news. Anna Nicole's body, Brittney Shears, Barack versus Cheap Thrill Hill, and not much else. If the NBA All-star weekend shenanigans hand't reached full tilt Sunday night, it would have been a worthless week. What? No astronauts in diapers racing cross country to "talk" to a member of a love triangle?

Going forward, it should be a quiet weekend. Squirty is with us through next Sunday, so we get some nice family time this week. I've gotta squeeze in a couple of rides this weekend or else....

And if you want to lose your a** in checkers, give her a ring. Uncle Steve got WAXED like a Minnesota girl at a beauty parlor before Spring Break.

Sedona with Big Steve - good times....It was cool, cloudy, but not too cool for a Wisconsin boy to wear leg warmers. We've got one more ride tomorrow in Flagstaff - 51 degrees! That blue bike Steven is riding is a one-of-a-kind steel frame made by Joe Gardin. That means absolutely nothing to me, but he said it was pretty cool.

I have two months - just over two months really - until the 24 hours of Payson. I had better make these rides a daily ritual or it could be awful.

The House of Representatives easily passed 246-182 a non-binding resolution Friday rejecting President Bush's plan to send more troops to Iraq. "This will signal a change in direction that will end the fighting and bring our troops home," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. Republicans battled to the end against the measure, saying resolve is more important than resolutions.

Love that GOP rhetoric there. Could you imagine if the GOP were running Google, or any other forward-thinking company? It would have been in the ground 3 years ago, and a bunch of fat, white guys would be looking for work. Oh - did I just stereotype Conservatives? Whoops. What's so "conservative" about Conservatives anyway? They don't conserve finite resources, lives in Iraq, or the Arctic wildlife.

Keep bringin' it Ms. Pelosi and your constituants...Happy Friday to all - and let's bring our troops out of Bush's quagmire soon.

Tonight, I barely made it to the gym at 9pm for an hour workout. Once I was there, I was OK, but I nearly bailed. Racquetball League - only 6 days away, Lord help me get there so I can stop this weightlifting madness. I'm so weak even after a month. You could even put these topless girls in the gym and I couldn't care less. Those are some awesome FEmullets.

FRIDAY

Tomorrow is shaping up to be a great day. Here's the schedule
8AM - Take Lyza to the bus stop, and then right from there onto the trails for an MTB ride
10:45AM - Head over to Lyza's school for her first school play. She plays Annie Goat in a story about a group of goats trying to get across a bridge to the other side of the meadow - fresh grass - you gotta have fresh grass as Robert Downey Jr. once said. Except there's one problem.....there's a troll under the bridge that these Goats have to face. You know I'll get plenty of pics and video from this event.
11:45-2:45 - On down to work for a short day. I have busted my ass for the last three - averaging close to 12 hours per day.

And the rest of the day to play with Lyza B. D is coming to the play too - so Lyza will have all of the step parents and a virtual entourage cheering her on.

F'n A I wish I were in Tucson starting at 12:00pm on Saturday. I'm not gonna miss the Old Pueblo next year. Over and out - I'll be back on Monday with a fury of pictures from the weekend. My Uncle and Big Steve from Wisconsin are rolling in on Sat and Sun respectively. Good times are guaranteed.

It snowed last night and this morning. It didn't snow enough to re-open the ski area. But, it snowed too much to go mountain biking. The roads are trashed, so no road biking. The club sucks. I'm not in running mode. There's not quite enough snow for snowshoeing. Indoor pools in the winter blow.

I came in at 6:30am so I could leave around 3:30pm and workout. I've got it - the 2001 Tour De France on video, and the rollers for an hour with a hot tub session after. Oh, and I had better get my Valentine's swerve on. I got D a little piece o' jewelry from Sundance. I think she'll dig it.

The best 24 hour race is this weekend in Tucson. One of the best AZ Road Stage races is this weekend. I have family coming into town - so I'll be at neither event. However, I did sign up for this beast again. I am determined to finish 100K this time. The older I get, the more I forget how hard the 50K was.

I'm avoiding other more important things today, can you tell?

Here's a menagerie of the fun from Thursday through Sunday. Thursday started with my lovely daughter Lyza kicking my a** for 5 hours after school with games/wrestling/bike riding etc - and us both falling asleep while reading books to her at bedtime.

Then we rolled on down to Phoenix on Friday night to support our friend A+ in her 'routine' 50K run. This girl runs marathons and Ultras like they are 10K's. As you can see - D and I rode the 50K in support of A+ at various aid stations and such along the route. It was 80 degrees by noon - and the sun felt great.

Sunday brought us to the BODYWORLDS exhibit at the Arizona Science Center. It brought up several points with me regarding mortality, living for the moment - versus taking precaution to preserve what you have for what you need, and the importance of modern medicine. I'll elaborate on this stuff and bore you to tears then. See the exhibit if you can. It is fantastic.

OK - so it was 80 in Phoenix - and we drive 2 hours to Flagstaff and get out of the car in 40 degree rain. WTF! Only in AZ.

By request - some great first steps into 2006 and beyond. Boulder, UT 6/20/2006

Winter Riding in Sedona.....Mmmmmmmmmmm good.

This Astronaut Love Triangle thing is absolutely the story of the year and we are barely over a month into the year.....from my fave Sports Talk Radio man - Steve Czaban:

For starters, we might just as well retire the yearly trophy for “Most F’d Up News Story of the Year” with the female diaper-astronaut-love-triangle-abduction story. Sit me down with a 12-pack, some weed, the entire writing staff from Conan, and give me 2 full days – and I STILL don’t come up with a story this good.
I just like how the incredible elements of it all just POP out as hilariously INSANE.
1. Astronaut
2. Diapers
3. 900 Mile drive
4. Pepper spray
5. Rubber tubing
6. A metal mallet
7. Buck knife
8. Wig
9. Trenchcoat
10. BB Gun
11. Latex gloves
12. Emails
You know, it’s always the f’in EMAILS! Always! Nothing causes more harm, mayhem, lost jobs, embarrassment, trouble, and hurt feelings than EMAIL! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: email will someday KILL us all.
Don’t know exactly how, or when, but it will. Trust me. Nothing wastes time, infects our computers, mis-represents true intentions, gets us fired, or allows our loved ones to catch us cheating more than E-F’ING-MAIL!
And yet, it sure is a great way to forward porn. So I’m still torn just a bit…
Anyhow… back to crazy-ass “Nelly” Armstrong.
My first thought was: “Wow. A woman! Go figure…. (snirk… ) Who would have thought?”
Now, I’m not saying men don’t do amazingly stupid stuff just because our penis told us to (see “Salisbury, Sean” and “cell phone”). Oh no. We do. We’re morons. Simple celled, throbbing sex-hounds until the day we die, or have to chew our Viagra one tablet at a time.
It’s just that most men do things very IMPULSIVELY. If we have the chance, we’ll do it. We’re all about opportunity, not scheme. Women? Oh… THEY scheme! Like a Buddy Ryan coached defense… they scheme.
What women won’t like about this story, is that some sexist male pigs (ahem… but not ME per se) will point out that no matter how smart, accomplished or “responsible” a woman might be, there is still a nuclear reactor core in every unit of your species that is prone to have an occasional WILD meltdown of emotions.
Remember: this was AN ASTRONAUT! The smarts this girl has in her pinky, I don’t have in my whole body.
Yet, when it comes to a MAN, she decides it’s time to pack up the pampers and hotfoot it to Orlando for a little revenge kidnapping.
WTF!
In other words, all along that 900 mile drive, NOT ONCE does her “astronaut brain” say to her “woman brain”: “Whoa…. Baby. What ARE we doing here? It’s just a penis!”
We’re talking at LEAST 14 hours of sitting in a diaper full of your own stank to sort of weigh out the pros and cons. And the “CONS” of the whole scheme, never even got a chance to stand up on the floor of the house to make an argument!
Incredible!
It really should send a chill down most men’s spines, because it is a window into the operational focus of a woman pissed off. Do not – REPEAT – do NOT make them angry. As Bill Bixby once warned: “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
Still… I have questions. Soooo many questions…
1. She’s a half decent looking gal, and she’s in a whole ORGANIZATION full of nerdlingers at NASA. Play the field honey, play the field.
2. Unless she had reserve tanks of gas jerry-rigged in her trunk (and hey, she’s an astronaut, so I’m NOT ruling it out) she would still have had to stop for gas. Why not pee then? And did she CHANGE her astro-diaper while at the Stuckeys?
3. Confused about the rubber tubing. Wouldn’t seem to make for very good “rope” to tie somebody up with. Explain.
4. This diaper thing again. I now know astronauts wear them on launch and landing. Why? Don’t want big brown stains on those clean orange jump suits? Does the re-introduction of gravity upon landing, pull that mud right outta ya? When it comes to talking about “The Duece”, I never get bored with it. Talk to me girl.
5. How come NASA hasn’t canned her already? I mean, like you’ll put her up in space ever again? Please. Good thing her “plan” wasn’t to crash the shuttle into this woman’s house. Don’t laugh. We’re talking outer-orbit CRAZY here.
6. Did she watch Apollo 13 before she left to get herself “psyched up” for the kidnapping, like the way Ray Lewis watches “Gladiator” before every game? Did she say to herself just before pulling into Orlando: “Gentlemen, I believe this is going to be our finest hour.”

I'm about a month into this "gym" thing, and it is barely sticking. I have evolved into a creature that needs to be outside when I exercise. The gym rats think I'm nuts for riding in the cold, and the local riders think I'm a wuss for hitting the weights 2-3 times a week. I can't win this battle. Worse yet, I have succumbed to the inevitable self confidence issues at the gym. They are in no particular order:
1.) I am always doing a quick check to know who I'm competing with, eventhough those people have no idea I'm competing with them - although they may have already sized me up and either chose to compete or blow me off. I know, I have issues.
2.) Everytime I vary from my original workout plan because I feel the need to pile on the weight - maybe looking stronger in the process to that goofball in the mirror - yup, me. You know what happens? I strain muscles, stretch ligaments, and feel like Stretch Armstrong for 2 days. But - I keep doing it.
3.) I quietly criticize any yahoo punk kid who does his reps too fast, or who looks like he's trying to show off. I especially go after the meatheads who have developed upper bodies, and absolutely no legs. Ironically, I was that meathead guy when I was about 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, and so on.

You would think at age 39 that I could quietly do MY routine without falling into this trap. Maybe I really am a competitive jerk, a vain a**hole, both of those, or just a regular joe like everyone else there. Thank God that racquetball starts in 3 weeks. I think I need the competitive outlet.

So, here I am just hanging on until it warms up so I can live on my bikes for another summer. Wish me luck because this gym experiment is just getting worse every week.

On another note - holy cripes - can you believe that psycho astronaut who went aggro? Driving with a diaper on so she could make better time? I need to look into that story.

Lyza's Class - Gotta love Public Schools...

Here's the website for my cycling team. I accepted an invitation to be a volunteer member on the Board of Directors for 2007 and 2008. I had no idea that it meant over 100 e-mails within 30 days, a ton of what I call "e-bickering" (inflammatory e-mails that people author when they feel strong as an ox behind the keyboard, yet they are wet noodles face to face), and a general state of apathy that, at times, is more difficult to sift through than the growing number of Presidential candidate dossiers.

What have I done.

Fortunately, I have been nominated to the Treasury position. These people think I am fiscally responsible because I own the cheapest bike of all 6 Board members. I have never thought of my road bike as 'cheap' until I came across some of the custom rides that my fellow decision makers have invested in. None of them would even shrug if you said "Yeah, that new road bike I bought was on sale for $3,500". This brings me back to the point of being treasurer - no one has ever accused me of being fiscally responsible before - until now. I am thrifty, but not cheap, and I save my pennies, but I have about 1/100th of the knowledge that my Dad has of accounting/investing etc. Good thing that the one account I manage for this team is simply an operating/checking account.

Here is our Board Chairsapien - we refer to him as El Coache. Check out the naked photo of me in the middle of his webpage.....I did that to make him look good. I had to tape my johnson to my left knee or I would have offended Barbaro. Actually, this is a shot of him. He is the only one of our group that is not liable to become hot headed - so he got nominated to the Chair role.

All I know is that I am in for a wild ride (pardon the pun, Mom) with this group over the next two years. If I become more fit, and look good in the kit (team clothes for you non-cyclists out there) then life is good. Oh, and a few discounts and pro-deals along the way don't hurt either.