Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Vinegar and Water

There is so much douche out there that you don’t even have to look around to find it. In the last few days I’ve seen -

Leaving town at 6:30am I look to my right at a little tatted guy in the grocery store parking lot with the proverbial construction worker goatee, driving a huge Dodge Ram with a Confederate flag textured into the rear window glass


Picking up my lunch today, a group of four corporate guys dressed in dockers, and logo’d polos with bigger guts than their brains talking about banging chicks at the last tradeshow over plates of Mexican food


While fixing a wi-fi connection for one of our owners, in the background I hear that loudmouth Jim whatshisface from the cable show Mad Money


The too-tan euro-trash roadie in a mint condition Mapei kit who races down 89A – a road with the equivalent of a painted white line for a shoulder and no passing lanes, cliff on one side, abyss on the other – with only his slicked back hair protecting whatever he has for a brain

Can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and see what else qualifies.

3 comments:

  1. The Douche Report is priceless. Keep em coming. I'm sure there ain't no shortage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm only a tat, a flag and a different truck away from making your report.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh... and it's a good thing I have a really big brain.

    ReplyDelete