How the hell is the Aunt Jemima syrup product still on the shelves? First, you have a rotund African American woman who looks like, for lack of a better term – a happy slave – on the front of the bottle. Then on the back, you see that the brown syrup is made of poison….the #1 ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, followed by a gagillion chemicals, colorings, and additives. I mean fer’ crissakes the stuff isn’t even close to being maple syrup, but it’s manufacturer pays a lot of money to pretend to be. Real maple syrup is about $10 for 12 ounces out this-a-way, and a big ol bottle of Auntie J is less than $2. Who’s the Product Manager for Aunt Jemima? I’d wager it’s a white guy in New Jersey who’s makin’ a fat salary from pouring manufactured maple sweetener down kids throats. You think he asks for his brand when having kamut pancakes with fresh blueberries on the deck of a B&B in Vermont while on summer vacation? On my last visit to the grocery store I was just doing my best to cut some food costs, and paying $10 for maple syrup hurts – but damn brah – would you put lame-ass Colorado 85 octane in a 1995 Old Fashioned BMW? No freakin’ way! Pay the extra $ and cut back on something else.
Racquetball starts again tonight. Ellsie suggested that for this go-round I go out and buy some of those classic BIKE coach’s shorts – you know, the stretchy gray ones your coach wore at baseball practice in the ‘80’s. Then I figured I’d add a red headband, a crappy t-shirt, two mock ACE ankle braces, kneepads, and a pair of white classic Reebok hightops. I don’t even think I could get out of my house without laughing myself back in to change. But – racquetball is 50% mental – and it’s fun to phuck with the guys in the league….so, maybe?
And tall socks with the stripes.
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