Wednesday, July 8, 2009

What's in a name

I fucked up my payroll account last week with a bank holiday falling on July 3rd and had to make a trip in person to Chase Bank to get things straightened out. I roll in and am helped by a guy named Nash Moncoutie. Seriously, Nash Moncoutie working at a bank in Sedona. I would have expected a guy named Stormy River, or Aspen Grove before meeting a guy named Nash Moncoutie. Take a guess:

1.) black or white
2.) a little heavy set or thin
3.) nice watch or a timex
4.) import or a chevy
5.) glasses or contacts

If you followed the path I was leading you down, you selected the first answer in 1-5. You were right. Certain names lead to stereotypes for a reason. After seeing a craigslist ad for a fixie bike, I want the name of the guy in the ad - Griff. Cooler than cool is Griff. Really. Describe Griff for me:

1.) black or white
2.) a little heavy set or buff
3.) pos car, sweet Infiniti G37, or a skateboard
4.) Revo's or Rudy Projects
5.) Entrepreneur or fry cook

See, you can't stereotype that name. It's the greatest name out there, but I'd have to change my last name too. Griff Jackson? Nahhh. Griff Sanguinetti? Too Italian. Griff Walker? Now we're talking. I'd grow my hair out, wear beat up blazers with mismatched elbow patches to weddings - but contrast them with Hugo Boss slacks and Bruno Magli loafers. Carry business cards with just the name Griff on the front, ditch my debit card for a money clip and cash but put my 1's on the outside, and get a new-used car every few months just to shake things up.

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